To have an effective communication today has become a very challenging task because we do not listen to each other. A good communication involves equal amount of speaking and listening.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”Stephen R. Covey
How many times have you been offended by someone who made a statement that goes against what you believe? How many times you have blocked people who said something offensive about religion, politics or even your favorite food?
In the world today every conversation has the potential to turn into an argument. Many of you might think that not talking to someone you don’t like is the easiest thing to do, just simply avoid them and block them then why bother? But what if someone you don’t like is your boss or some new client with whom you deeply disagree on a personal level. In this case you should know how to have a great conversation. Now, I am not going to give you tricks like brief what the other person said so that he knows you were paying attention. I believe there is no need or way to show that you were paying attention if you were actually paying attention.
So let’s discover what you can actually practice to have a great communication.
#Do not multitask
Do not multitask. If you really want to have a good communication, be attentive to what the other person is saying. Do not think about what snacks you will have today. If you want to be out of the conversation, be out but don’t be half way there. Be present completely.
Do not pontificate, everyone has a different perspective. When you say something you will receive different view points from other people which they believe. Do not get offended, it’s their way to see things. Be open to all kind of reviews and suggestions. Listen to the other person, may be you have something to learn from them, maybe they know something you don’t. So, always be willing to learn.
#Ask open ended questions
Try to ask questions which make them more involved and gives them a moment to think and answer. Avoid questions which are answerable in yes or no format. Rather than asking them “did you get angry” ask them “How did you feel?”. This will make them think and they will feel more involved.
#Do not equate your experience with theirs
When someone is telling you about their loss, do not tell them about yours. Do not say that it is the same. It is never the same, every individual has a different experience which cannot be compared. More importantly it is not about you. Do not take that moment to prove how amazing you are and how bravely you handle the things. It’s a conversation, hear what other person has to say.
The most important skill you could ever learn is this one. Listen with an intent to understand not with the intent to reply. Most conversation in which you felt most connected and understood are the one’s in which you were heard. If you want the conversation to be effective, be a good listener. This is the most important of all points.
#Do not repeat your sentences
Saying a sentence more than once is very condescending and boring. Do not rephrase one thing over and over.
Stay quiet whenever you can and listen. Whenever you are in a conversation, be prepared to be amazed. Everyone knows something you don’t. You will never be disappointed if you have this attitude to be amazed.
These were the points I came up with to have an effective communication. I hope these are helpful.
Inspiring happy living.
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